I miss writing.

The house is silent.  Andrew’s napping, the dogs are passed out on the floor since it’s SO hot, even with the A/C on, and Nick and the boys went to go ‘play golf’, which is code for putt-putt.  I rarely get moments like this, and it’s a good thing, because I become very pensive.

After I lost the girls, I read so many things.  Being online, sharing my experience with others, and reading about other’s (unfortunate) experiences helped to heal me.  Sitting here sipping my coffee, I realized that I ENJOYED sharing my life.  Blogging was cathartic for me.  It was part of what helped mend my empty heart.  I need to get back to that.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m EXTREMELY thankful for all that I have, but being a wife, a mom to three boys under 5 (one of which has Asperger’s) and running a business, and having two dogs can get a bit hectic.  Somewhere in the last few years I feel like I’ve lost myself along the way.

Oh sure, my boys are happy and healthy, and my biz has been a success, but I have golfed only one time in the last 4 years.  I’ve gone bowling a couple of times, if that.  These are things that I love to do and I haven’t done them.  Why?   I’ve been LIVING for my family.  Putting myself last.  Not the place that the mom should be.  Not the place the wife should be.  Not the place the I should be.

I miss these quiet moments.  They’re so few and far between now, that I don’t know what to do with myself when they happen.  So today, I decided to write.

 

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